How to Look Fancy, Tip #4: Serve Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits

Urban Dictionary characterizes “Southern” as “Anything pertaining to the American South. (Includes things such as fried chicken, sweet tea, and anything with a confederate flag.) A person who is described as southern is usually polite, courteous, respectful, moral, opinionated, determined, confident, witty, and likes to laugh and have a good time. They are usually born and raised in the American South.”

I can claim about 40% of a Southern identity. Born in Atlanta, Georgia, I lived in Florida with dad from age 3 to age 8, and was effectively disconnected from my tea-drinkin’, slow-talkin’, porch-sittin’ roots. He told me that when I first moved to the beach my molasses-thick accent was nigh-unintelligible.

Now, I have what I consider an “international American” accent that is flat and clear thanks to a diverse Suburban high school and wide-world travel. I will admit though that around family, I am known to break out the “ain’ts” and “fers.”

Nonetheless, Southern music, food, and hospitality all run deep through my family’s past, cut with some good ole’ fashioned feuding and drinking.

It’s always been around me, but it hasn’t really been apart of me. Granny still puts 2 cups of sugar in her sweet tea but I don’t drink it, football is still watched during family get-togethers but I prefer hanging out in the kitchen, and you surely won’t find a religious bumper sticker or confederate flag on my pick-up (especially since I own a VW sedan).

Anyway, there are many aspects of Southern culture–such as open friendliness–that I love and appropriate no matter where I live. One of the most important is from-scratch buttermilk biscuits. My great-grandmother used to make them every morning, and until two days ago, I had never made them myself. For shame!

I spent a wonderfully wine-soaked and gourmet weekend in Charlotte, North Carolina with my dear friend, Lauren, and she taught me how to make these delectable morsels. I’ll share the secret with you:

1. Tools of the trade: a) biscuit cutter. b) following her grandma’s instructions, Lauren keeps a special cloth for biscuit-making. It makes for easy clean-up since she just shakes it out and rolls it up afterward. c) a pair of loving hands.

2. Cheap and easy ingredients: a) deliciously tangy buttermilk. b) Crisco. c) White Lily Flour (I’ve been told the brand does matter!). d) butter. Lauren doesn’t measure her ingredients–proof that she’s a true master–but I’ve used the measurements provided by the White Lily recipe as a starting point. She emphasizes that you’re working toward a certain consistency, and you should feel free to add more flour or buttermilk as necessary.

Part 1: a) Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. b) add 2 cups of flour to the mixing bowl of your choice. c) cut in 1/4 cup Crisco until you have a crumbly mixture. d) add 2/3 – 3/4 cups of buttermilk and stir with a fork until the flour starts to leave the side of the bowl.

Part 2: The above image is the look you’re going for.

Part 3: Drop your dough onto a lightly-floured surface and knead gently (maybe 10-12 times) until it holds together.

Part 4: Roll out dough, aiming for a 1/2 inch thickness (no need for rulers, this isn’t a science project).

Part 5: Add gloriously golden pats of butter, fold over, and roll once more.

Part 6: Armed with your biscuit-cutter, bite straight-down without twisting. Once you’ve punctured your dough, roll it out and cut again.

Part 7: Add sun-tan lotion, a.k.a. melted butter. Cook for around 8 minutes, but keep your eyeballs peeled to ensure proper browning and not burning.

Part 8: Serve with homemade marmalade, butter, bacon, or gravy for the best thing you’ve ever tasted.

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Here’s a video if you’d like to get anal about it. Just remember that careful measuring and arguing over details is not the down-home method.

http://www.whitelily.com/BakingTips/Tips_Video.aspx

Dreams: Revelatory or Ridiculous?

1. I’m wearing a violet bikini and competing in a relay. My task is to eat a large bowl of raw eggs quickly. 2. A high school crush won’t date me because I am a hermaphrodite (and my junk is bigger than his). 3. I’m trying to find dandruff shampoo in a brightly-lit pharmacy, but I can’t find any. 4. A love interest rubs my legs as I float around in a swimming pool. I feel very glamorous in a maroon one-piece. 5. I’m shopping with the Obamas, but I can’t afford the Versace gowns and diamond necklaces that they’re buying. 5. I’m going down stairs, and I fall. 6. I’m in a cross between Project Runway and The Hunger Games.

Jewelry is a frequent motif in my dreams – materialism or meaning?

This is merely an amuse-bouche of what my dreaming mind has served up in the last few weeks. Dreams are hilarious, fascinating, terrifying, pleasurable–and of course–incredibly embarrassing.

I’m always surprised at how freely and eagerly people share their dreams with others; they become enthralling stories and jokes to pick over during lunch. I twinge at the very thought! Dreams are such personal expressions, and I wonder what I’m unconsciously revealing…

They project my worries, my hopes, my hang-ups, my fantasies–nothing is sacred nor hidden from that mischievous, sage, and often cruel sleeping brain.

Thus, my next quasi-investigative blog challenge is to record and interpret my dreams. I hope to find wisdom and inspiration, as well as a guide for my waking life. At the very least, I’ll have something to laugh about (dandruff shampoo?!).

Stay tuned for the next installment!

Springtime Meditation Final Exam

Happy, happy spring!

Nothing is more relaxing than the cerulean sky, marshmallow clouds, new verdure, and the kind of sunny warmth that bakes your winter-starved bones.

I wish I could write about how I meditated every single day; disciplined my mind to nothingness; discovered Nirvana; and solved all of my problems. In short, I wish I had earned my Birkenstocks.

But I couldn’t meditate twice a day for 20 minutes each session. I couldn’t keep sitting in my “meditation corner” trying to shut away the world. Each time I felt too excited about doing something else.

Mid-month, more opportunities for distraction arrived in the mail. I was accepted to grad school in D.C. I’m excited to move to a new city, make new friends, and move out of mom’s house (YES!). I’ve already cobbled together a reading list so I can get to know the field (Criminology).

I like to hedge my bets and always make wishes by blowing these blossoms bald.

Remember the childhood adage: if you place a dandelion flower under your chin and your skin glows yellow, then someone loves you. I just wanted to make sure…

I just really love doing things. I found it nearly impossible to say, “Okay, let’s put all of these fun projects on hold and just do nothing.”

This is not to say that I disqualify meditation. When I was able to settle myself down to some mindful quiet time I felt refreshed. But I also feel refreshed after a run, or after nearly dying in kickbox cardio class, or even planning the next new thing I’m going to learn.

Here’s what I decided worked for me:

• I will not meditate every day. If I plan on once a week, I feel like the session is manageable and I can actually look forward to making it successful. It’s no longer obligatory, but special.
• Silence invites pervasive–and often crazy–thoughts. I’ve found that relaxing music (like monastery or ocean sounds) help keep me from slipping into insanity.
• For me, meditation is less of a practice and more of a tool. Several times when I felt overwhelmed or angry, I channeled a more meditative thought process (like repeating my mantra and focusing on my breathing) to calm down. This is good enough for me right now.
• I also acknowledged the worth of doing a variety of things. There are so many ways to replicate the “in touch” mindset of meditation: spending time enjoying the outdoors, laughing with friends, retreating to be alone, making something….

I don’t think I’ve failed this challenge; I think I’ve made it work for me.

So far, the best place to meditate, nap, read, watch the squirrels, and eat strawberries by the bucket-load is my sun swing.

How to Look Fancy, Tip #3: Bake Cakes from Scratch

As a fancy-pants, I know you’re busy being fabulous: you read sonnets while drinking from bone china, wear Jackie-O sunglasses no matter the season, and yearn for the days of pillbox hats.

But if you aren’t baking your own cakes then you’re not reaching your full potential to be enviable elegant!

Nothing says "fancy" like a bowl-cut, a floral frock made by grandma, and mom's glorious, melty cake.

Raised on Betty Crocker, I eschewed from-scratch cakes as dry, time-sapping, antiquated relics.

Until now.

What I’ve learned is that the ingredients and recipe are key (okay, duh). If these components remain simple, you will create something that is delicious, brag-worthy, and EASY.

I’ve listed the following recipes according to ease and cheapness–because being fancy isn’t about spending heaps of dough.

• 1. Buttermilk Pie: Although not technically a cake, I’m not one to discriminate. Before you wrinkle your nose at “buttermilk,” this pie tastes like a yummy American form of custard. Burn the top a bit under the broiler and it’s Southern Crème brûlée. If you have buttermilk–and you do if you are a proper Southern lady–then you already have all the ingredients. Literally the cheapest and fastest thing to whip up.

• 2. Martha’sStrawberry Cake: Once again this recipe is basic and economical; you only add fresh strawberries. These gems you press lovingly into the top before baking. This cake is subtly sweet and perfect for brunch time. I crafted it for a friend’s birthday and we sat on her front porch drinking coffee and dipping pieces into whipped cream .

• 3. If invited to a tea party, this Lemon Cornmeal Cake and Lemon Glaze would be a sure-fire hit. I used blissfully fragrant Meyer lemons to create this dense, sweet confection and bought the sugar flowers at a craft store. This cake requires a few more steps–such as juicing and zesting the lemons–but it’s still relatively easy. And there’s no way to go wrong with a glaze. Most importantly, don’t forget your cameos and faux fur. 

• 4. Mom’s Birthday Reese’s Cup Cake: Mmm… on top of a spectacularly chocolate-y, but relatively light cake base sat two layers of creamy peanut butter and thick chocolate. I recommend keeping it chilled and eating with a classy glass of milk. Seriously, this cake is a HIT, so don’t invite the relatives over. They would eat it all. 

• 5. Ranked as the most time-consuming,the Hummingbird Cake is worth the effort and the boatload of ingredients. The batter resembled a chunky mess, but trust me, the final product tasted sweet, tender, and pleasantly textural. As you can see below, I did drop it icing side-up on the drive way and had to scramble to the store to buy some store-bought icing. But that’s life: sometimes you have to make it work à la Tim Gunn. And that makes you as flexible as you are fancy. 

The last two months have brimmed with cakes and have thus been outstanding. I feel great knowing that for any special occasion–or none at all–I can present a love-filled home-made cake. The secret is tailoring it to the time and money I’ve got to spend. 

Meditation Update: How to Stop Thinking

My "calm space," a corner solely dedicated to meditation.

Part 2 of March Meditation Challenge.

You might be interested in my methods. Once again, the guide I’m following is Paul Wilson’s The Calm Technique: Meditation Without Magic or Mysticism. I’m still working out the kinks–namely, how to adapt his guidelines to my personality and schedule–but here’s where I’m starting:

I have designated a secluded corner in my bedroom as my “calm space.” It includes a nifty vintage armchair, a pillow to support my back and prevent slouching, a footrest to stretch out my legs, a light blanket to keep me warm, and two hand-written reminders. To tie my mind to the task, I read these notes before I start.

Some useful props include: a small fan to block out roommate clamor and to create soothing white noise, and an eye mask filled with chamomile and beans. The gentle weight of the mask helps me focus, prevents distracted peeking, and the scent “transports” me out of the moment.

Since I’m not trying out for a spot among the early Christian martyrs, comfort is key. Even more important is “psyching” myself up for the activity: I have to be intrigued, relaxed, and calm for the session to be successful. I use yoga and light stretching to help get me there.

Here’s the first list of reminders:

And the second:

Wilson recommends silently repeating a mantra or “calm expression” so that it focuses your energy but becomes almost an unconscious activity. He recommends keeping the mantra absolutely private, but I don’t mind revealing mine. I think it’s important to share the experience with others as a way to keep myself interested in meditation. It’s “Let it be,” as inspired by The Beatles .

My next step is to become comfortable with meditating twice a day. I’m still finding it difficult to empty my mind and I’ve yet to discover the best time to practice.

Once the process becomes more natural, I hope to incorporate meditation into the rest of my day, especially in how I perceive and react to life.

What are some of your meditation methods and rituals?

March Meditation Challenge

I’ve decided to challenge myself to meditate EVERY SINGLE DAY IN MARCH. A month should be long enough to either dismiss the exotic-sounding practice as hooey or validate it as worthwhile and forge it into a habit.

My first guru.

What is meditation? When I was a little girl dad used to flip over, snore, and claim to be meditating. It happened daily, so it was definitely a “practice.”

A more reliable source, Paul Wilson’s The Calm Technique: Meditation Without Magic or Mysticism, however, defines it as: “‘being.’ When you learn how to live only in the moment; when nothing distracts you; when you are not tied to the past or anxious about the future; when your mind and your emotions are your servants rather than your master, your consciousness (your awareness) is in the most perfect state possible” (5-6).

It’s a sort of anti-multi-tasking, purposeful, “physiological process” to figure out who you are.

I think this is an excellent visual representation of the goals and boons of meditation.

All I have to say is, sign me up! Here’s what I’m hoping to gain:

• I tend to be uptight and controlling about things I care about (and crazily about things that I don’t care about). I want to learn to be calm as a cucumber.
• I want to develop perspective and more gracefully control my emotions. I hate that little things nag at my consciousness.
• I feel like this is the perfect time in my life to improve the quality of my life. I have the time and freedom to pursue self-improvement as doggedly as possible. It’s time to capitalize on it.
• Finally, I’m not intending this to be a spiritual journey. I tend to be fairly grounded in this department. But just in case the answer to life is buried in my subconscious, I’m going to dig deep.

If there was such a thing as an "inspirational vegetable," it would be the cucumber. It's refreshing, hydrating, and always cool inside.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that it is March 2nd and this challenge has remained theoretical. I have to admit that I’m apprehensive of the entire business. The book recommends 40 minutes a day of meditation, and that’s a huge commitment. But I’m just going to start, and I’m going to keep at it. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that anything amazing is usually difficult.

If you have any experience with meditation, please share it! Especially any tips!

One is NOT the Loneliest Number.

Solitude gets a bad rap. Many perceive being alone as shameful, tedious, and even frightening. The synonyms of “being alone” that pop up from Thesaurus.com reflect this distrust: “cast aside, deserted, discarded, dumped, forsaken, godforsaken, shunned, vacant, eighty-sixed.” Thus, if you are alone it is not by choice and indicates rejection.

This misunderstanding is one of my pet peeves. “One” is not the loneliest number–it is often the most refreshing, the most deliciously uncomplicated, the most essentially recharging experience! Instead, I offer these synonyms: “aloof, disconnected, distinct, emancipated, free, independent, lonewolf, solo, solitary, special.”

Someone’s proclivity for solitude or companionship mainly concerns his or her personality and how they were brought up. As an only child I frequently had to entertain myself and it fostered imagination, independence, and creativity.

One of my chief babysitters: Barbie. I know Barbie is problematic, but I loved her. She was a blonde blank canvas for every soap opera drama my developing brain could concoct! 

The extrovert/introvert dichotomy is frequently argued over.  I think this categorization has merit, but not as a polarity; everyone has a bit of each in a different proportion…like trail mix. This article–beware it’s a tad disparaging of extroverts–sums up how the types function: “Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone … In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially ‘on,’ we introverts need to turn off and recharge … This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: ‘I’m okay, you’re okay–in small doses.’”

“Me Time” isn’t only for over-worked moms who need to take bubble baths, drink daiquiris, and read trashy tabloids to recharge. Also, not sure why this woman is “French.” I guess Americans think the French have everything figured out. (They don’t). 

Here are some benefits of “me-time”:

• Blissful freedom. Wear what you want, eat what you want, watch what you want, and think what you want. No one on earth loves and hates the same things you do, so why not hang out more with yourself?
• No dilution through compromise or sharing.
• Free exploration. You can develop your interests without getting waylaid or stymied.
• Opportunity to refocus and recharge. Sometimes it’s great when people stop talking.
• Empowerment. Since you don’t rely on others for your self-worth, you can feel independent and confident.
• Healthier relationships. Relationships with lovers and friends become more satisfying because they don’t make up for a lack of identity, but add to it. You know who you are and you can choose to hang out with people who enrich your life.
• Authenticity. A person that enjoys his or her own company is more comfortable and interesting among others.

And some cautions for “me-time”:

• It’s all about mindset. If you don’t feel in control of your solitude then your spirits can tank. Be proactive in fighting boredom and take responsibility for your own happiness and well-being. Figure out what you love to do and do it!
• Balance alone-time with companionship. I’m not saying: “I’m amazing and other people suck.” Use solitude to fuel your love for enjoying other people’s company.
• Beware of becoming too wrapped up in yourself. Guard against becoming withdrawn and cold. Humans are ultimately community-driven animals, so you must hone your ability to relate and empathize with others.
• Sometimes you can get trapped in your own head. A friend is the best means of exposing yourself to other perspectives. A strong sense of self allows you to benefit from advice without losing sight of your own goals.
• Some might bleat that it’s selfish to want to be alone. You get all the resources, all the attention, and all the time. Cling to the mantra that by investing in yourself, you can better give to others.

I hope I have inspired you to rethink your ideas about solitude. In the end it’s about knowing and staying true to yourself, and isn’t that the goal of life?

Can you imagine a better place for solitary thought…or a good conversation?